Ask for their Story

I have an odd ability to remember things I’ve experienced in great detail. Members of my family will sometimes call me to settle an argument, and I’ll play the scene back in my head: where the conversation took place, who was there, and even where everyone was sitting. Eventually, they’ll concede, “Well, it must be true. Kaae remembers it that way.”


I also love hearing other people’s stories. As someone tells me about an experience, a little movie begins recording in my head. Ask the right follow-up question and the movie gets longer, sharper, and more interesting. That is the key: knowing when to ask one more question.


I love history for much the same reason. When I meet someone from another country, I often think about the events they—or their parents and grandparents—may have lived through. I’ll ask what that time was really like for them. Sometimes their story confirms what I have read. Sometimes it corrects it. Either way, I get a personal view of history that was not written by the victors.


Naturally, I usually offer a story of my own in return. By the end, we are no longer strangers. We have exchanged something personal, and both of us are glad the conversation happened.


This book is a collection of stories people have shared with me over the years—stories that stayed in my head like little movies. Some are funny. Some are strange. Some preserve a small piece of history. Others reveal something about the teller that I never would have known if I had not asked another question.


Are these stories true?


I’m pretty sure they are.


They were told to me as true, and they felt as though they came from the heart. Some emerged after several questions. Others appeared during a long pause, when one of us reached for something to keep the conversation going. I have written them as faithfully as memory allows, preserving the words, personalities, and spirit of the people who told them.


But memory is not a recording. Details may have shifted over time, and every story passes through the perspective of both the teller and the listener. What I can say with confidence is that these are the stories as I remember receiving them—and that, for the person telling each one, there was something in it worth sharing.


All I had to do was ask.

Everyone has a story they are waiting to tell. Often, all it takes is the right question—and someone willing to listen.
Start with your parents and grandparents. Ask how they met, what frightened them, what they remember from childhood, and what they have never thought to tell you. Ask your friends about the places they came from and the moments that changed them. Ask strangers what their lives have shown them.
Ask now, before it is too late.
Then make some stories of your own—and share them.